How much time do you make available for your relationship?
Most couples when they first meet (and for the “honeymoon period” at the beginning of their relationship) spend as much time as possible together – talking, planning, activities, making love etc.
Once you get used to each other and comfortable in the relationship, you allow other things in your lives to take priority – work, children, friends, extended family.
That results in less couples time, i.e. time when it’s just the 2 of you with no-one else around. As you spend less time together, you start to take each other for granted – making assumptions that person will always be around and always do the things he/she does.
That in turn means there is less of a relationship because you are not relating to each other. That’s about CONNECTION. People connect in different ways – think about how you connected at the beginning of your relationship. To get that connection back, you need to start behaving in ways similar to the ways you did then.
However, connection doesn’t mean “being joined at the hip”: you are 2 different people.
In addition to couples time, each of you needs to allocate to yourself some time for your personal interests and pursuits: that helps to preserve your individuality and gives you the opportunity to bring something extra or new back into the relationship.
It’s not only time when you’re physically together that is important – it’s also the time you spend thinking about each other – what the other person needs or likes.
Why not answer the following questions:
- When was the last time you planned a date night/breakfast/lunch/weekend?
- When was the last time you bought a gift for your partner for birthday/anniversary or other special occasion?
- When was the last time you bought a gift for your partner for NO special occasion – just because?
- When did you last send your partner a loving/sexy text message or email?
Couples often feel that they don’t have the time for connection because they have to work extra hours, or they have commitments in relation to their children’s activities etc.
Whilst those things are important, their relationship with each other needs to be the PRIORITY, because if they give their relationship priority, then everything good flows from that, including their children’s feeling of security and happiness.
Francesca and Stan Levine (the owners of “Relationship Rescue Institute” in Melbourne, Australia) teach couples how to give their relationship priority and attain the results outlined above as part of their couples counselling in Melbourne.
Email: stan@relationshiprescueinstitute.com.au
Phone: +61 3 9427 0032
Published in Fox Daily Post
